Finding Love & Purpose Through Adoption & Life with Artificial Twins

For many people being a parent is one of the most important and precious parts of life. As many parents know though, no two families and their associated journeys are the same. Sure, we all have similar experiences and situations, but the totality of the experience is individual to each of us. 

My story begins with the heartbreaking news that we were unable to be parents biologically; however, adoption was a possibility and eventually for us meant to be. I am the proud mother of artificial twins. For those of you who are unfamiliar, artificial twinning is a term that means two non-biological siblings who are less than nine months apart and being raised together.

I thought I would share Greg (my husband) and I’s journey in this process to shed more light on a life experience that not many people have had. Several years ago, Greg and I began discussing having children, but through a series of doctor visits we discovered that we were both incapable of having our own biological children. From here to forth, we jokingly and affectionately referred to ourselves as broken but made for each other.

Coming to grips with this was a journey in it of itself, but we were a team. We both helped each other emotionally heal and figure out our next stage in life. It was once we accepted that we wouldn’t have biological children that we made the decision to turn to adoption.

Our Journey Through Adoption

With our hearts still set on raising children, and our sights on adoption, Greg and I began this next stage in our lives. The love that we shared for our little 10-pound Pekinese, BooBears opened our eyes to the possibility that we had been traversing the wrong path for some time. Maybe, instead of getting bogged down in the idea of not being able to make out own babies we needed to recognize that we actually were emotionally capable of loving and caring for an adopted child as our own. 

For now, we had to put on our “practical hats” and devise a game plan that would end in us having our very own child to love and raise. After extensive research it was time to put thought into action and begin what would become exhausting, process. Adoption is not for the faint of heart or for those in search of instant gratification. The first step was to begin exploring agencies that we would consider going through for adoption. We made our selection, met with the director, and then began to tackle the rest of the requirements.

Adoption Paperwork, Interviews, & Other Due Diligence

I often joke that I felt like I was signing my life away through this process. The mountains of endless paperwork took a lot of work and effort out of myself and Greg. In addition to that, we were subject to a lengthy interview process.

There were home inspections, credit and background checks. We had to take continuing education classes, and we even needed to make our own web page. Yes, much like how we had explored several agencies online, biological parents like to view perspective adoption parents online.

Outside of this, we needed to have physicals, financial reviews, and mental health examinations. We also needed to identify characteristics of the type(s) of child we were looking to adopt. Our director advised us, and logically so, that the pickier we were, the harder and longer this process would be. 

Waiting for The Call

There is a lot of waiting that will take place as you go through adoption. It’s hard not being in control or being able to move the process along. But there’s a reason they say that patience is a virtue. Keeping your spirits up is tough, and it is a daily battle. You just have to remind yourself that it will all be worth it in the end.

A good friend of mine who had been through this process before gave me some wonderful advice during this time period, to put the emotion back into it. He advised that I begin to talk about it to everyone and make this a big part of my life. Secondly, he told me to open myself up to the biological parents I met with. Ingratiate ourselves to them and get them invested in us as their choice for adoption.

The advice worked. In fact, this advice led us to being placed with our two incredible and beautiful children.

Our Lives with Artificial Twins

We were fortunate enough to be matched with a girl through the agency and a boy from our friend. We fell in love with both and were unable to choose just one, so we chose both. With the help of one of the best adoption attorneys in Wisconsin (pro tip, get counsel), we were able to navigate through the rest of this journey. After proving we had the financial means, the physical space, and the heart to do this, we were granted both children.

Adoption is one of the most special things you can do, and it changed our lives. As the parents of artificial twins, less than a month apart in age, we have filled our home with love and happiness. There are bumps along the road and the journey can wear on you. That said, I’m living proof that at the end, you come away with the best gifts in the world.

If you are ready to make adoption apart of your life, consulting the Adopt Help website is a great place to start your journey.